HAMBURGER

I can’t remember the last time I ate a meal that wasn’t a burger

I need a change … I dreams of cows chasing me yelling murder.

I fantasise about peanut butter sandwiches made with brown bread

Driving past all of these foot and mouth disease ridden cows … dead.

I’d do anything for a sandwich, kill the tour manager

I’m starving! I’d go to sleep hungry and wake up a scavenger.

I can’t take the runs anymore; my immune system is broken down

I feel weak; I need something to eat. I need to slow down.

My brain can’t function right but that’s nothing unusual

The peanut butter sandwich wants to be eaten and the feeling is mutual.

A year of non-stop touring and I seem to be putting on weight again

Eating Big Macs, chicken burgers and it’s causing me pain.

I feel constipated but I’m stuck in a van on the motorway

Stop at the next services, I’m begging you! I need the pain to go away.

Help me! Before the tour began I was healthy

A little on the chubby side, at least that’s what they tell me.

It looks like I might have to survive on lucozade

I can’t believe they call the food junk and the cook gets paid.

Chorus:

I go to sleep with a stomach-ache and a lip covered in cold sores

To the point it hurts when I rap, it’s affecting my vocals

Ain’t been home for weeks or eaten anything decent in a while

Used to love the taste of Mc Donald’s and Burger King as a juvenile

But now I look at my best friend’s girlfriend and I see a cow

It’s affecting me mentally and I’m starting to wonder how

It ever got to this stage; like when I’m playing Tetris

I’m seeing burgers and chips like they were sent down to the earth to test us.

Beef stuck between my teeth. The taste is killing me softly

The bun covered in seeds, my gums begin to bleed.

When I was young a visit to McDonald’s was sort of a treat

Now that I’m older after eating a burger I’m in need of stress relief.

Chorus:

I can’t think straight! Why do these burgers hate me?

It’s getting worse! Only a peanut butter sandwich can save me.

And lately I’ve been waking up all in a sweat, paranoid

Interrupting the nightmares of the cows that are out to get me.

There’s got to be something better out there, my stomach talks to me

Saying the burgers got no clout here “Blade, get them out of here”

( ) Excuse me, but I couldn’t hold it back any longer

I tried! But the pressure was strong, the need was stronger.

What I’d do for a proper meal, nothing fake, something real

A piece of steak, rice and peas, a cheesecake … yeah!

But for now all I do is fantasise about it

With the cows still in hot pursuit with forks and still shouting

“Murder” … but hey I was forced into a corner

With nothing else to eat that was affordable, so I sort of supported the slaughter.

Chorus: